and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
