I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
