THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
