and you said cock pushups were impossible
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
