my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
