It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
