I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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