my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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