Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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