ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
