last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
