Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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