toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize