i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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