even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
