so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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