Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

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(586): View more from Michigan

My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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(757): View more from Virginia

some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.

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(845): View more from New York

No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

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(301): View more from Maryland

I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry

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(713): View more from Texas

Don't try to butter me sideways

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.

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