we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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