just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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