Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
