How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
