$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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