i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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