i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
