Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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