But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
