idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Come see our sink grown plant.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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