well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
