no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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