batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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