I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Fuck appropriateness.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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