there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
