You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My penis needs a shock collar
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I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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