In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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