I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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