sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
