hell yes lets make some ravioli
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
don't judge my taste in strippers
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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