But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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