Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
