Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize