You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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