Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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