oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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