That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
