My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
