ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
