I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize