I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
nutella sex= disaster
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
