hotel room ftw
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
