Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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