think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
