That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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