He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
