we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
