Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
