It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
