you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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