I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
