I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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