my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
