You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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