I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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